Divorce

http://www.macleans.ca/culture/books/article.jsp?content=20060123_120027_120027
 
The new book Congratulations on Your Divorce by Amy Botwinick [a Harvard grad] is yet more evidence that divorce, for many, is becoming a blessing to be celebrated,... not something to agonize over. Like Ellis, Botwinick describes divorce as an opportunity -- it's almost as if splitting up were the prize for getting married in the first place.
 
She has some tips for how women should present themselves in court:
"No cleavage and keep the jewelry down to a bare minimum."
"Don't forget hose or matching stockings. The judge has a good eyeshot of your legs under the table."
 
"Keep in mind that while your spouse is testifying, the judge will be watching you. Don't hiss,..."
 
Both Ellis and Botwinick agree that news of your divorce will stir a variety of reactions. When married friends hear, says Ellis, there is "usually a gasp of some kind and then the thought, 'There but for the grace of God go I.' It can make them question how solid their foundations are."
 
"You no longer have to maintain the facade of a happy-happy couple. You are free to be honest about how miserable you've been. It's like that saying, 'The truth will set you free.' "
 
There are those "just trying to get a juicy piece of gossip," and for these people, she suggests preparing a response to the inevitable question "So what happened?" Botwinick likes to fire back, "It was all for the best. So how are things going in your marriage?"
 
Botwinick advises the newly divorced woman to "take your self-esteem up a notch..."
 
"...Everything becomes possible once you put yourself back in the driver's seat of your own life."
 
As for shared child custody, Ellis cites the fringe benefits of "getting to be in your own home alone for a change." Some of my married friends noted that with some interest." But the big jackpot, she says, is "seeing how strong and resilient you can be, gaining a sense of freedom, and letting go of a situation in which you've been unhappy or settling for less than you deserve" (http://www.macleans.ca/culture/books/article.jsp?content=20060123_120027_120027).
 
[TBC: "Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!" - Isaiah:5:20Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
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